By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
