I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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