Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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