I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
