Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
