I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize