I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
