There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
