"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
