Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
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We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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