hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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