i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the day after is always just damage control
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
