I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
