like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
