that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
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So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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