Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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