So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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