i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
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