I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize