I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
