Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
