We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
