Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
