Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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