This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
