I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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