They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
