They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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