smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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