My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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