Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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