omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
