I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize