He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
