He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
