Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
