Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
