Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Drake has all the answers
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
