Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
