I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize