It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize