what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
