Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
