DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
