you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
