It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
God I need to hump something, right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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