Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
