im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
