yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
