just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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