Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize