Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
