i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
