Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
