If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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