I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we're making bets on your personal life
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
