Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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