i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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