Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
