My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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