There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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