So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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