My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You're like the curious george of whores
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
